April 11, 2016 at 12:40 pm (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: blah, legs, love, mother, novel, poem, poetry, scent, time
A photograph of the girl
who almost loved you back
when you thought you were not enough
and words were sufficient gifts to give.
The girl you pretend not to think about
on long drives, when the road curls
out of view, or on waking
from dreams of her long thin legs.
The image of what might have been.
The last page of a novel
that you have not finished
but know how you want the story to go,
what you want to have happen.
The end that you imagine occurring
each time you leave the house,
or daydream about
when your coworkers aren’t looking.
The plot with no heroes and ambiguous conclusion.
The sweater your mother kept
in plastic after her husband died
opening it only at night so the scent of him
would not disappear like he did.
The thick wool woven with his fragrance
pressed close to her face, the warmth of her skin
releasing him as she struggled to keep him.
The reminder of what was.
March 13, 2016 at 11:42 am (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: black ribbon, clouds, daffodils, dark, dust, geishas, god, motes, night, poem, poetry, senses, sensual, sexy, snow, weather
New snow, roads and trees hushed
under white, like geishas hidden
by their makeup, as if the silent man
upstairs covered his furniture, and in auditorium
rooms stories get lost in telling, words
winnow in artificial warmth.
I look at the shape of things, searching
for more than is shown, learning only the outline.
Clouds above, white from horizon
to tree line, like the inner dome of heaven
were drywall, as if the tenant overhead
drew his curtains to hide, and on the ground
things open to the rain, alive in the damp
afternoon possibility. I think of fingers,
slippery, and how hands yearn
for so much, but learn so little.
Winter still, daffodil greens
pierce the monochrome, cutting
through weeds and shade, as if the lodger
one flight up dripped as he painted,
and the sun rests cat-like in trees, stretching
orange on its back. I think of skin
flushed red, the warm flavor of salt,
the cherry taste of hunger.
Dusklight stars, waking slowly
in spreading dark, like motes of dust
caught on a dress, as if the neighbor above
was lighting rooms one by one, and inside
windows, artificial light licks everything
clean, pale as a pretty smile. I breath in
sweetness too early for the season, holding
it deep, knowing lungs will soon forget.
Night sky, circled around
the moon, like black ribbon
around pale skin, as if the apartment upstairs
were newly vacant, and in the distance
young voices share thoughts, words mingle
with dew, in the distance. I hear only the moan
of the dark, curled ballerina toes under sheets,
and the gasping voice of completion.
March 7, 2016 at 6:08 pm (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: colonial, family, history, mythology, native american, personal, poem, poetry, sarah, woodson
They will tell you it was the neighbor,
his hands a knot of knuckles and skin,
who held off the attack; that it was oiled iron
and skill that saved us.
But they did not see the old man wet himself,
the scent like stale cider filling the house,
the urine wicking down his leg.
They will say that a woman, her skin hidden
from fieldwork, will only cry, her mind lost
to the madness of her sex, her panic predetermined.
But, they have never kissed their sons safely away,
hiding them in darkness,
felt the weight of their lives return again
into the body, the clarity of protection.
They will talk, in years that come, of the loss
of my husband, his body found in the trampled grass
at the end of the farm, the soil already rusted black
with his blood, the loss to the community.
But, they have never heard the sound of my boys
sobbing in their beds, the damp sounds of terror and loss,
they have never known the fragile truce
between survival and grief.
Some of you may recall that I have intermittently been working on poems about my family history, and such. This is a continuation of that process. Sarah Woodson was not only the mother of Potato and Tub Woodsons, but the namesake of my mother.
February 28, 2016 at 9:25 am (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: atom, desire, galaxies, idea, illusion, lust, mind, morality, poem, poetry, quicksand, thoughts, truth, universe
The universe is quicksand, countless
tiny particles floating in liquid, stippled
so closely together they appear solid.
Think of the dust of galaxies, solar systems
swirling so closely to each other that at a distance
one cannot see the boundaries between them.
Or the body, composed of cells densely packed
so that their uniqueness is lost to the naked eye.
Even the atom is built of smaller parts, made
to look unified by distance.
So too is it with truth, each one the composite
of a great many vague thoughts,
each the blending of wants and fears.
Even ideas, single flashes that are gone
almost as they begin, are the product of sense
and imagination, are the mixing of sensations,
pressed tightly into a moment.
In the fluid movement of things, the mind holds on,
believing things to be whole, believing there is a solid
place to stand. But, nothing can support such weight,
nothing is more than particles in suspension,
and so it slowly sinks, swallowed by solidity,
enveloped by desire.
February 24, 2016 at 9:49 pm (MY poems, MY writing, Uncategorized)
Tags: fire, future, past, poem, poetry, truth
Fire, rolling up the edge of the wood, like a wave, bending when impeded, curling around a thing until it cannot stretch itself any more, until it is so thin it loses its orange heart and trembles red and blue at its edge, carves the night into liquid patches of brilliance. There are shapes in the shifting patches of light, bodies that dance and shift, figures playacting at life, stories that glint and fade away. In them the wheat field finds its echo, the cloud sees its cousin. In them the past escapes for a moment into now, the future waits to bloom into sight. There, in the red heart, unwavering, if one looks just the right way, is the face of the world, the bright eyes of the sun, the breathing beginning and silent ending of everything.
February 22, 2016 at 12:47 am (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: moon, mountain, night, poem, poetry, stars, turning, wonderland
The sun an hour behind the mountains
and the road already lost to darkness;
white lines mark the edge of the world.
Below, lights announce themselves
on street corners and porches, glittering
awake as everything else readys for sleep.
There is a small moon, smiling
like the Wonderland cat, among cloudless stars,
and somewhere between the two,
between the perforated dark of each,
I remember how you smiled an extra moment,
a strand of hair blown across your face,
awkward in the silence,
turning back to the life inside your door.
February 7, 2016 at 5:50 pm (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: apple, apples, erotica, lesbian, poem, poetry
Trunk, gnarled by endless
pruning, branches knuckled out
toward sky, stoops under
countless little leaves,
breathing the light. The white-pink
blossoms have fallen,
a confetti of
new life strewn by the wind,
and apple bodies
plump with dew and rain.
They have ripened until the
crispsmooth skin blushes
with the desire
to be eaten, the juice
already in the flesh.
They long to be seen
and desired, for a hand
to feel their curved bodies,
to at last enjoy
the caress of a mouth.
January 31, 2016 at 10:13 pm (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: back, blah, Gaze, identity, past, photo, photograph, photography, poem, poetry
The backward gaze is not about the past,
the photograph not a record of who we were.
We look at grainy replicas of moments,
mirrorless reflections of what was,
and discover who we are now, how far we have changed.
We see the ghosts of identity,
clinging to life on crumbling paper,
and understand not what was,
but how that is not what we are now.
And those faces stare forward, fixed
in moments already lost before light fell across film,
unable to see who they will become,
not knowing the critical scrutiny they will use
upon themselves later. They will stare forever
at a present that faded long before,
their faces held by aging chemicals,
the mirror only ever allowing a one way gaze.
January 24, 2016 at 5:43 pm (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: cadaver, corpse, past, poem, poetry, skin, sleep, waking
Asleep with skin under cloth, fabric laid
atop us like cadavers on the examination table,
we exhale our pasts into the night, thick breath
carrying who we were into the dark.
You hold your body against mine, even now
becoming someone you have not been, endlessly
moving away. And I touch you, my body reaching
from its now toward who you are no longer, hoping
to keep you as you were, trying to stall the change.
We lay, covered by sheets, each moment a funeral,
each exhale a tiny death, and we yearn
for what was as we shiver against the cold.
December 27, 2015 at 9:59 pm (MY poems, MY writing)
Tags: blah, Frankenstein, monster, poem, poetry, speculative poetry, stitched, story
This is not mine, this quiltwork of parts
animated by the lightning of thoughts,
moving at my command.
Before the accident,
before the shattering of light,
there was more to me than this scar tissue.
Certainly I live, the doctor has ensured that,
but this face is not the one I know from memory,
nor is this the world that moved around me before darkness.
There used to the brittle scent of fallen leaves,
the untamed color of flames,
the blanketing heat of summer.
No longer is there the flush of blood from imagining
naked flesh touched, nor the delight of tasting fruit
freshly plucked from the vine.
All that is left for me now is shame at alien limbs,
and the scent of electric ozone, filling every breath
since the doctor awoke me again.
The world is colored with the pale shades
of iron and steel, and all I feel
is little more than the chill of the grave.